New Mummy – the stuff the books didn’t mention…

You are a Brand Spanking New Mummy!  You’ve read all the books and you know what to expect.

 

  Welcome to Motherhood.

Here’s a few things you mightn’t be expecting…

The goo covered baby was placed on your chest and you didn’t get that gush of ‘Love’ everyone talks about.  Don’t stress it’ll come!  One day soon you are gonna feel like you could burst with how madly in love you are with this little person.  No-one can explain this feeling.  It’s a different love than you have for your husband or wife.  You would literally do anything for them.  Cue protective ‘Mama Bear’.  God help anyone who messes with your Cub.

Your Pre-Mummy pay cheques disappeared only to be found on a hanger in your wardrobe.  Newsflash!  All that spare cash you spent on that cute top or the pair of shoes you couldn’t leave the shop without will now go on your very own two foot nothing, nappy wearing, model in the making.  Just wait till the time comes to buy them their first shoes.  How can something so small cost so much?!

You will use baby wipes to clean.  They can tackle everything from baby puke to greasy hand prints on your freshly painted walls.  Always have a packet to hand you never know when the kitchen table will need a quick lick.

If you didn’t drink wine before having kids – you will now.  There is no better way to celebrate keeping them alive and making it to bedtime than chilling out with ‘chilled glass of white’ (or red your choice!) when they are all tucked up.

This ‘Mummy’ lark is hard work.

You’re never alone (See below post) and sometimes you are gonna need some ‘me time’.  When you get it…  Enjoy it!  It probably won’t happen that often and when it does you are gonna miss them.  More than likely you’re gonna sit wondering how the baby is.  You’ll check your phone lots, just in case you missed a call and you’ll rush home eager to hear what they’ve been up to.

Going to the toilet by yourself will become a luxury.  They’re like little ants and you are the sugar.  THEY WILL FIND YOU!  Even if you lock the door you won’t have peace.  They’re gonna knock, bang and shout until you let them in.  Be prepared for lots of questions and brace yourself they like to know what’s happening.

Once weaning starts be prepared to share all your meals.  Even if they have the exact same meal as you, they are gonna want yours.  Be warned you will hide chocolate up your sleeve just so you can eat it in secret without sharing.

You’ll be able to sing all the theme tunes to your kids favourite TV shows.  The name of Ed Sheeran’s new song…  Not a chance.  As if you’re actually gonna get to listen to it anyway!

I hope you’ve enjoyed my ‘New Mummy’ tips!

I’m sure you’re doing a might fine job.  This Mummy role takes a bit of getting used to.  Don’t stress the little stuff and ALWAYS go with your gut.  You’ve got this Mama.

 

 

 

 

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