Dear Husband – A bit of a Parody but really just a list of what not to buy me for Christmas

Front cover of Dear Santa Book with Santa stroked out replaced with the word Husband. Authors name also stroked out and replaced with Mummy's Whine Club.
Dear Husband

I wrote to my Husband to send me something special for Christmas.

(They just love when you leave them lists notes don’t they!)

So he wrapped up some… Earrings.

Too SMALL, the kids might choke on them thought the husband.  I’ll send something else. 

So he wrapped up some… Underwear.

Too BIG thought the husband. Is that really her size!?  I’ll send something else.

So he wrapped up a… Frying Pan.

We really need a new one, but too Hard (that might hurt when it BOUNCES off my head) thought the husband.  I’ll send something else.

So he wrapped up a… Cook Book.

Too SCARY thought the Husband.  She might poison me.  I’ll send something else.  

So he wrapped up some…  Anti-wrinkle Cream.

Too MESSY if it hits the wall thought the husband.  I’ll send something else.  

So he wrapped up some… Gift vouchers.

She’ll be too NOISY whilst shouting I “put no thought into my gifts!” thought the husband.  I’ll send something else.

So he thought very hard and on Christmas Eve the Husband said “I know you really want a Mulberry Handbag but the kids have a list the length of their arms, so for the full month of January I’ll let you lie in on the weekends.”

That’s just what I’ve always wanted (the handbag I mean) but I’ll settle for the lie in if you throw in a cuppa! 

I love you. 

Thank you Husband!  

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4 Comments

  1. December 6, 2017 / 9:11 pm

    Ha ha brilliant!

  2. December 7, 2017 / 12:51 am

    This is fantastic and really made me giggle. A lie in sounds like a perfect gift though (even though the handbag is great!) #DreamTeam

  3. December 10, 2017 / 9:30 pm

    This is fab! Hubby and I don’t tend to buy for each other any more. Well not after the year that he bought me a calendar anyway haha. This is fab! Hope Santa is good to you this year lovely. Thanks for linking to #DreamTeam x

    • Mrs C
      Author
      December 10, 2017 / 10:09 pm

      Ha he’d definitely ran out of ideas when he settled on a calendar! Someday I’ll get that handbag 🤣 the kids will probably have left home though! x

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