Is it OK to choose the gender of your children?

Would you choose the gender of your unborn children if you could? It’s called Pre-implantation genetic diagnosis and is currently illegal in the UK on ethical grounds.

A recent magazine article stated that there are investigations revealing UK fertility clinics illegally helping parents to choose the gender of their baby. I understand in some medical cases, it is helpful even necessary but to choose the sex of your baby for vanity purposes, to ‘balance’ your family; that’s a step too far for me.

For months now this subject has been bubbling in print and talk shows.

Z list celebrity Danielle Lloyd is presumably being paid to voice her desire to have a daughter. Admitting to feeling disappointment when she found out her fourth baby was again a boy. How will that little boy feel in years to come? Surely sharing your disappointment to the world over and over again must leave him feeling somewhat inadequate. Next summer she plans to take her family to America (where PGD is legal) and undergo a course of IVF in the hope she will return to the UK carrying a daughter. Last year an online parenting site found a quarter of British mothers suffered gender disappointment. I wonder how many of them still feel that way a year later? I’d have imagined any disappointment is quickly forgotten with every day you watch that little person you created grow.

Children are not accessories!

How long before parents are not only wanting to choose the gender of their babies but their hair colour, eye colour or height? Creating a world of ‘designer’ children. I’m being a tad dramatic here, I know. IVF is an intrusive and expensive process. It will not be a viable option for many so the likelihood of manufacturing disparities in the sex ratio of the population is slim. It is however more likely that parents would opt to choose the gender their second or subsequent children in order to create the ‘prefect family’. What happens when these ‘chosen’ children don’t live up to expectations? When the longed for daughter doesn’t like the frilly dresses you imagined she’d wear or the trophy son prefers arts and crafts to soccer?

Can’t we just be happy that nature has allowed us to conceive, minus the heartache and pain that is often associated with IVF? Every day of the week couples are told their only chance of conceiving is through this process. They go off, pray their postcode might offer them the chance to undergo treatment on the NHS. If it doesn’t they will scrimp, beg and save every penny they can to have a throw of the dice. Longing for a child regardless of it’s gender. I think if I was one of those parents, Danielle’s story would probably make my blood boil further.

So far, I am a mum of boys.

Stereotypical boys, who fight imaginary monsters with swords and shields made from empty nappy boxes. Tutus and fairy wings just aren’t on their radar. I’ve never imagined having a daughter. I have no strong desire to complete our brood with one gender or the other. I’ll happily spend the rest of my days digging for worms and will be equally delighted to invest in a tutu. Grateful to be blessed either way.

What do you think? Is it OK to want to choose?

6 Comments

  1. October 30, 2018 / 1:32 pm

    It’s a hard one. I always think each to their own but I don’t necessarily get the need to have a particular sex. I’ve always been of the ‘as long as they’re healthy, who cares if it’s a boy or a girl’ mind frame. I would, however, say that I suffered with gender disappointment with my first son, only because I’d been told at a gender scan that I was having a girl. I’d had everything organised for ‘her’, started to imagine my life with a daughter etc & when that didn’t happen I suppose I was disappointed? You could possibly even say I grieved for a life that would never be (tad dramatic I know). That’s a whole other story. But now I’m a Mum to 2 boys & honestly couldn’t imagine my life without them & genuinely don’t know what I would do with a girl!

    Very thought provoking post, I think it my have inspired me to write about my own experience!

    Thanks
    V

    • Mrs C
      Author
      October 30, 2018 / 1:42 pm

      Wow Victoria that must have been quite a shock!! I can imagine a definite grief feeling for a life you thought was to be yours. Happy writing I look forward to reading ❤

  2. October 30, 2018 / 3:01 pm

    I think it’s ok to have a preference but to go that extra step and actually choose the sex is a step too far! I have 2 sons and a daughter but if they had been all boys (or all girls) I would have been happy either way! Happy and healthy is the end goal!

    • Mrs C
      Author
      October 30, 2018 / 3:10 pm

      Definitely Liane happy and healthy suits me just fine.

  3. October 30, 2018 / 4:19 pm

    Interesting, if I could choose I probably would, but that doesn’t make it right

  4. October 30, 2018 / 9:29 pm

    As a mum of twin boys, I’m done, and there will never be more children for us, but I can’t deny I sometimes think about how nice it would be to have a girl. But would I use science to handpick a girl? Nope. As you say, any baby is a blessing!

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